tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3891434218564545511.post2468155148923108936..comments2024-03-27T20:37:09.185-05:00Comments on Alexander Pruss's Blog: "Love does not seek its own"Alexander R Prusshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05989277655934827117noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3891434218564545511.post-9690670601174415382012-12-04T23:03:07.081-06:002012-12-04T23:03:07.081-06:00One thing that clarified to me what love is was wh...One thing that clarified to me what love is was when I was in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Catholic Church) when one of the instructors said that "Love is not a feeling. Love is an action." Another instructor put it this way "Sin is a failure to love."<br /><br />Much of the non-Christian or post-Christian world is really totally confused by what love is. There was the famous line from the 1970’s movie “Love Story”: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” However this isn’t true, because we often have to say we’re sorry to people we love when we ask their forgiveness. Love is way too often connected with feelings rather than actions, and when the feelings fade (because that’s the natural course for feelings) where is the love? Another issue is that in general people confuse love with infatuation and say that love is blind. When it comes to love the Post-Christian world often is more apt to think erros than agape. And as the years have passed, this has become more pronounced. Love is too often tied to “Does he/she meet my needs?” and not to “Do I meet his/her needs?”. A reason many people see as legitimate for leaving relationship or having an affair: “MY NEEDS were just not being met”. A person belonging to a non-Christian religion often has a hard time grasping the Christian concept of love. I was once in a Jewish bookstore looking for Stone’s Torah with the Orthodox Rabbinic commentaries (I’ve found it to be a great reference book). When the one of the guys running the store, an older gentleman who knew I was a Catholic asked “What is this love?” What was easy to explain to another Christian became totally difficult to explain to this Jewish fellow. Agape was just not something he could grasp. Then there is the popular notion that having sexual relationships isn’t wrong if two people “love each other” even if they are not married to each other because “loving someone isn’t wrong”. With this crowd, which includes many people my age and younger, the Christian concept of love is truly, truly alien. As a Christian, one might as well be an extraterrestrial that has just stepped off a UFO. I had a spiritual director tell me once “That as Christians we are the counter culture.”<br /><br />Part of this confusion over what love is was because many of us were never clearly taught what love was either by our parents or by our churches. When I was growing up, I never recalled getting any kind of clear definition on love other than “Real love waits.” Or “If he really loves you, he’ll wait for marriage.” But the rationale about why that is so was seldom clearly explained perhaps because it was assumed as a given. This is unfortunately true for lots of people. A major contributor to this confusion was the 1960’s cultural revolution with its hallmark of “free love”. The only thing I recall being told back then was that this was bad, but there was no explanation about why other than it was bad, which in effect amounted to no real explanation. Then in the 1970’s we had what was called the “Me decade”. It was all about “doing your own thing”. In the 1970s, more people began living together “if they love each other”. In the 1980’s being a “yuppie” (Young Upwardly Mobile Professional) was it and things were all centered around “me and my career” especially in landing that perfect dream job with a high salary and lots of prestige and “having it all”. Being a “yuppie” was considered a positive thing by many people, especially among professionals; therefore, overlooking the potential for unhealthy narcissism was all too easy. This was when the “committed relationship” became quite accepted among my peers.<br />Dagmara Lizlovshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14744785407281199347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3891434218564545511.post-6156897288315009002012-11-28T06:55:48.027-06:002012-11-28T06:55:48.027-06:00...and because Blogger is unhelpful: http://www.yo......and because Blogger is unhelpful: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywloS71iLLQ" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywloS71iLLQ</a>Kielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15905861091652423451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3891434218564545511.post-36878499266232849352012-11-28T06:53:57.697-06:002012-11-28T06:53:57.697-06:00I was listening to this song the night of the morn...I was listening to this song the night of the morning I read this blog post. I couldn't help but smile!<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywloS71iLLQKielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15905861091652423451noreply@blogger.com