Some cosmological theories lead to the worrisome conclusion that most people with present brain states like ours are Boltzmann brains—random aggregations of molecules in space that came together to form a brain in a little bubble of oxygen. Usually when people talk about Boltzmann brains, they talk of how this induces a sceptical problem for the theory that generates them. Thinking about Boltzmann brain issues that way leads to messy epistemological questions such as whether we get to simply assume that we have hands, and the like. Moreover, if there is evidence for the cosmological theory, then that becomes evidence for Boltzmann brains, which then undermines the evidence for the cosmological theory, and that’s all a mess.
Here is how I suggest we think about what happens when a cosmological theory T leads to a Boltzmann brain issue. The vast majority of Boltzmann brains—even ones with brain states like ours—are short-lived. Their bubble of oxygen dissipates in the absence of gravity, and after a brief moment of hypoxia they die. So think of the point this way. If a cosmological theory predicts a large ratio of Boltzmann brains to ordinary evolved brains, then the theory makes an empirical prediction: in a moment you are extremely likely to start blacking out. So just do the experiment: wait a moment and see if you’re blacking out. If you’re not, then you’ve got very strong disconfirmation of the cosmological theory, and you’re done with it. You don’t have to worry about self-defeat, Moorean questions about whether you have two hands, or anything deep like that. (And if you are blacking out, then if it’s a Boltzmann brain related blockout, you’ll be dead in a moment. If you do come back to, and not in the afterlife, that’s massive evidence against the theory again, but now you should see a doctor about your blackout problem.)
In fact, you don’t even have to wait: on cosmological theories that generate too many Boltzmann brains, you should expect to already be starting to black out—because most of the Boltzmann brains will be extremely short-lived.
Objection: There will be long-lived Boltzmann brains, too.
Response: Sure. But for entropic reasons they will be much less common than the short-lived ones. You might, of course, worry that in many of these cosmological scenarios there are infinitely many Boltzmann brains, and infinitely many are short-lived and infinitely many are long-lived, and you can’t say that the short-lived ones are more common. The short-lived ones will be more common in a “typical” large finite region, but overall we just have infinity. Now, if you are worried about this—and I think you should be—then that worry already applied at the beginning of the story when you looked at the ratio of ordinary to Boltzmann brains, because there will be infinitely many of each on such a cosmological theory, and the formulation of the problem that I gave at the beginning, namely that Boltzmann brains greatly outnumber ordinary brains, is inaccurate. (I think if you do have this worry, then the theory has another problem, namely that probabilistic reasoning makes no sense in a world described by the theory. That is a kind of sceptical and self-defeat problem, but of a different nature.)
My point in this post is modest: if you want to say that Boltzmann brains greatly outnumber ordinary brains, then instead of thinking deep stuff about self-defeat of theories and scepticism, you should just think of the theory that generates this prediction as falsified by future observation.
